Skip to content

The door…[shuts the door] must be CLOSED.

ELAINE: [from the bathroom] JERRY! [enters the living-room] Jerry, oh, hi, welcome back. How were the shows?

JERRY: Great, I had fun, where’s the TV, where’s the VCR. [Elaine looks guilty] What?

ELAINE: They were stolen.

JERRY: Stolen? When?

ELAINE: A couple a hours ago, the police are coming right over.

JERRY: Stolen?

ELAINE: [Kramer enters the apartment] Someone left the door open. [it’s clear that she means Kramer; she walks to the bathroom]

JERRY: [to Kramer] You left the door open?!

KRAMER: Uh, Jer, well ya know, I was cookin’ and I, I uh, I came in to get this spatula…and I left the door open, ’cause I was gonna bring the spatula right back!

JERRY: Wait, you left the lock open or the door open?

KRAMER: [bobs his head guiltily] The door.

JERRY: The door? You left the door open?

KRAMER: Yeah, well, I was gonna bring the spatula right back.

JERRY: Yeah, and?

KRAMER: Well, I got caught up… watching a soap opera…[with a broken voice] The Bold and the Beautiful

JERRY: So the door was wide open?

KRAMER: Wide open!

JERRY: [Elaine enters the living-room] And where were you?

ELAINE: I was at Bloomingdale’s…waiting for the shower to heat up.

KRAMER: Look, Jerry, I’m sorry, I’m uh, you have insurance, right buddy?


KRAMER: [looks shocked] How can you not have insurance?

JERRY: Because…I spent my money on the Clapgo D. 29, it’s the most impenetrable lock on the market today…it has only one design flaw: the door…[shuts the door] must be CLOSED.

You may also like...